One week left.
I am notorious for being an overly emotional human at all times. Especially unnecessary ones. I couldn’t tell you what side of the family I got this from, since they all think I’m crazy when I start crying during a Disney movie.
But here we are. And the last few weeks here haven’t been anything different. It’s like the end of a semester, but with more relief than a week after finals, more finality than graduation and more trepidation than I’ve felt before in my life. I am so excited for the next part of this journey, but I am so scared and sad as well.
Living with these folks for the past few months has taught me an incredible number of things about people.It’s been like a college dorm experience, living in my North Philly house with my old college roommates, and yet an entirely different beast altogether. Living together and working together was an incredible balancing act – one we all struggled with. And after Chelsea left, living with men became a completely new experience. I have learned so much about farming here, but I’ve learned a lot about trust, and the human emotional spectrum, and what it really does and doesn’t mean to be a man here, too.
It’s the night before I drive into the city for market for the first time –in Keith’s pickup with Derek, though, not the stick shift. So I’m sitting in the living room watching Mulan for some moral support. I guess you could say my time here was like that song everyone remembers from this movie – you know, “I’ll make a man out of you.”
This place and these boys (and girl) have toughened me up. I think I can hold my own with these men farmers – at market, on the farm, and at home. Maybe not in the kitchen. But you can’t win them all. Though despite what my cohorts may tell you, I can cook a decent meal without twigs now.
Coming here was a big leap of faith for me, as so much of these past eight months have been. And so onto the next one – Wagner Farmstead, ahoy. I thank Keith for taking this chance with me, and for the people who have come into my life during this adventure and those who have supported me all the way through. I went home to help my mom put up our Christmas tree on Saturday, and, as we do every year, we watched It’s a Wonderful Life. Which, of course, means we sat on opposite ends of the couch and cried for for the last ten minutes of the movie, but here we are. But that movie reminded me of something very important that I tend to forget from time to time:
Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.”
I’m sure there will be more on this to come. But these guys – my brothers, my mentors, my tormentors, the source of my exasperation and exhaustion, my friends – I will never be able to thank them for all that they have done for me and helped me grow up to be.
You must be swift as a coursing river
With all the force of a great typhoon
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
I am a woman. Hear me roar.